Presignify

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Make sure to esteem not only their time, but also their firm standpoint when you ask for their opinion. Treat your best friends like the precious stone they are, and insure their protection. After all, it’s hard to discover and keep good friends–much less best friends.

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Have you heard enough about the “Runaway Bride” yet? Well, stay tuned. This story is not going to wind down for a while. It has the capacity to make celebrities (notorious or not) of at least two people - the runaway bride and the jilted groom, depending upon how much they each value what’s left of their privacy.

I truly feel sorry for Jennifer, because she must be going through absolute torture right now, even if she did bring it all on herself. Everyone makes mistakes in life. However, this unique case deserves some scrutiny - and it’s getting plenty.

I worry that Jennifer could despair at the nationwide censure she is now receiving. But her mistakes hurt the people who are most near and dear to her - and trivialized the time, emotions, and energy of hundreds of others.

There is no question that weddings are highly stressful events - so stressful that maybe they’re not worth all the distress they can cause. It wasn’t the running away that was the biggest problem, as bad as that was for her family and fiancé - it was the concocting of the kidnapping hoax, all because she did not want to admit that she had actually just run off, stressed out with only days to go before her huge wedding. I’m sure she now wishes she’d had the courage to tell it like it was.

When the Truth Came Out on Live TV

The night the truth of the story broke, I was pulling an “all-nighter” for my Saturday morning graduate class, studying for an exam. I had CNN on in the background, so I heard that the missing bride-to-be had been found. There was live coverage on this. Everyone, even the reporters, was gushing and exulting with joy, interviewing the bride’s best friends and bridesmaids.

But it REALLY got interesting about two hours before dawn when the police chief in Albuquerque, New Mexico, came out to make a statement. CNN had audio problems at that crucial moment, so I switched over to Fox News, who was broadcasting the same thing live. Lo and behold, what the police chief said changed everything - dramatically. That was when it was revealed that the kidnapping story had all been a lie.

When I switched back to CNN, it was somewhat funny to see the shock and consternation on the faces of the flabbergasted reporters. It’s certainly rare to see national news reporters forced to drastically switch gears live on national television that way. One minute they were deeply concerned about a missing woman whose wedding was supposed to be held that very day - and the next, they were stunned, indignant, embarrassed, distanced now, and ready to cast a completely different light on the story.

Who can blame them? For indeed, what the Runaway Bride did humiliated a LOT of people. She not only humiliated them - she greatly inconvenienced hundreds of people, misled millions, but worst of all by far, she knowingly brought untold anguish to her own parents and to the man who was committed to marry her - both by running away without contacting them, and then by telling such a ridiculous and embarrassing lie. In some cultures, a stunt like that would bring irreparable disgrace to her family.

Trying to Lie to the FBI

What makes this story most confounding is that the runaway bride did something very, very stupid by lying about her disappearance. Don’t most people know better than to try to lie to the police and the FBI? Don’t most people know that it’s pretty hard to hold up a tale like a fake abduction under hours of endless questioning by law enforcement officials who are just doing their jobs? Don’t most people know that you could get some innocent people sent to prison if your story was actually believed?

This is not a kid we’re talking about - this is not even someone as young as Monica Lewinsky was (and for me, Monica’s age did excuse her to a great extent) - this is a 32-year-old woman.

The only explanation for such a stupid move is that the girl was absolutely desperate. She had been caught running away from her wedding, but she still couldn’t bear to tell her family and fiancé that she just couldn’t face the wedding music.

Getting cold feet before a wedding can mess up a lot of things - but it’s not a crime. We all know it’s better to be honest than to get married when you have doubts. But lots of people do exactly that - get married with doubts, then spend years and years regretting it, with their children paying the price.

Why are people are so involved emotionally in this story? That’s because it hits home on many levels. Many of us would like to run away from the pressures of life. But that isn’t the main reason - it’s all about honesty, the foundation on which we base our lives each day.

How many of us are truly honest all day long? We may think we’re honest, but a closer look reveals many lies woven into our daily lives. Perhaps we think we’re honest, but we’ve never been put to the test yet - and the test may prove that other things - like what people think - are more important to us than honesty.

Trust is Everything

The greatest lesson of all in the story of the runaway bride is how much we all need to be able to believe in what others tell us. We rely on the word of others and base our actions on our trust in their truthfulness. Many actions were taken and much agony was experienced based on the trust people had in this woman - the woman they all thought they knew so well.

Because this turned out to be a fabrication, it will affect how people react the next time something like this happens. People will be cynical and much more cautious - something most people were not this time. There were a few voices who wondered if Jennifer’s case could be one of “cold feet” -but very few, because everyone insisted that she would never do something like run off without telling anyone.

Jennifer’s distress should remind us all that we don’t have to be perfect, and we don’t have to live up to other people’s expectations of us. If we try to do that, the cost can be too great - it costs us our true selves. Trying to live up to the expectations of others was too much for Jennifer twice - first when she ran away, and second when she was unable, day after day, to admit to her family that she had felt the need to run away.

This young woman - and all of us - needs to accept who she really is and know that it’s all right to be who you are. Even if it ruins a large and lavish wedding, that’s much better than what she may be facing now.

We all make mistakes. Lots of us make huge mistakes. We’re just lucky that most of us never have to deal with the publicity of our mistakes that Jennifer now has to face. The picture of her with the towel covering her face spoke volumes. We all need to stop and think before we ever do anything for which we’d want to cover our face later.

As for Jennifer, she should hire a writer and start working on a book. She’s probably going to need the money. If she isn’t charged and fined, she’ll certainly want to make a big donation to her town’s police force - the one that missed a slain colleague’s funeral to look for a runaway bride.

Sarah Tanner is a writer about relationships and charm. Visit her website, http://www.howtohavecharm.com, and sign up there for her unique emails about charm and relationships. You will receive free ebooks on relationships and self-improvement with each email!
You are welcome to reprint this article if you include this resource box with all links unchanged.

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It must be great. You work on Saturday night for 5 hours and make $1,000 or more. What a life. It has been equated to selling drugs - the lucrative wedding disc jockey business is not what it’s cracked up to be. The reality is - this is far from the easy money that a potential wedding client thinks it is. They are shocked when they first hear the price that professional DJs charge and think that they are being ripped off because “wedding” was in their vocabulary when they called for a quote.

Here are some interesting facts to understand better what the life of a wedding disc jockey really is like:

• Clients call at all times of the day - the phone rings from 8am until around 11pm virtually every day. For the most part, you must be available to answer the calls because most people won’t leave a message if you don’t.

• Most weekday nights are spent away from home meeting with clients or potential clients.

• Most weekends are spent away from friends and family working at your events. Forget the 4th of July picnic and New Years Eve.

• Wedding Disc Jockeys are booked a year or two in advance - so that last minute call from your friend asking you to dinner or to a concert is a wasted call. You’re already booked.

• Your daughter’s concert that is on a Friday in May - you will most likely miss. Again, you are already booked.

• Try standing for 5 hours straight and see how your legs and feet feel.

• Did you know one of the most feared things to do is speak in public? As a wedding disc jockey, that is what we do every weekend.

• Most people bring a cup of coffee to work - a wedding disc jockey brings over $15,000 worth of equipment and another $20,000 or more in music to most events.

• A wedding disc jockey will haul in about 1,000 pounds of equipment into and out of the reception - that means up stairs, across rickety stone paths and through parking garages, through kitchens and in the cold and rain.

• A typical wedding lasts for 5 hours. Your wedding disc jockey will arrive an hour early to setup, will be there after guests leave tearing down and typically drives 30 minutes to 60 minutes each way to the event. They have to spend time preparing equipment before they leave the office. They have to unload and put away gear when they return. That adds up to between 8 and 10 hours on the day of the event alone invested in your wedding.

• A wedding disc jockey will typically meet you prior to booking (pre-sales meeting) for about an hour. Most disc jockeys will drive to meet their clients. Presales and travel to and from this meeting will add about 2 hours of their time into your event.

• When it’s time to discuss details, your disc jockey will again drive to meet you and spend another hour with you going over details, they’ll return to the office, type up this information and send you a copy. They’ll spend a couple hours organizing music, talking on the phone and sending/receiving emails from you over the course of the two months prior to your wedding. You can figure they’ve just invested another 5 hours into preparing for your event.

• The total time invested per event will be around 17 - 20 hours when it’s all said and done. That $1,000 for 5 hours is now really $1,000 for 20 hours of time.

• A wedding disc jockey will spend about $2,000 or more each year on music updates. They might invest $2,000-$6,000 in equipment, repairs and upgrades each year. They will spend $1,000 - $10,000 in advertising, bridal shows, printing, etc. They will spend $5,000 - $20,000 for office supplies, computers, and business services. They will spend $500 - $1,500 on liability insurance policies. They will spend $2,000 to $5,000 on postage. They will travel to one of the national DJ conventions to keep up to date with the industry and spend around $1,500 doing so. They will have a 800 number, cell phone, fax and voice mail services costing them around $5,000 each year. They will spend $5,000 each year on health insurance. They will spend $5,000 in gas getting back and forth to meetings and events.

• A wedding disc jockey will drive 25,000 - 35,000 miles each year between meetings and back and forth to their events. That will be approximately 750 hours away from home each year just in travel time.

The reason that wedding disc jockeys charge the price that they do is simple. It is the cost of doing business. The value that a professional disc jockey brings to your event is priceless. Take away the music and you’re just inviting friends and family to eat and drink. That accounts for about 2 of the typical 5 hour wedding reception. Your professional wedding disc jockey is responsible for coordinating all the details of the flow of the event - from introductions to the cake cutting. They are the middle man between the banquet staff, your photographer and videographer. They are your wedding coordinator. Without proper quality entertainment - guests will leave soon after dinner.

If a typical wedding reception costs around $25,000 (or $5,000 per hour!), and your guests leave 2 hours before the end due to poor entertainment - you’ve just wasted $10,000 of your wedding budget. If you’re debating between a cheap $500 DJ and a professional DJ costing $1,500, the decision should be easy. Trying to cut corners on entertainment could cost you $10,000. The additional $1,000 is money well spent when the big picture is in focus. The time and effort a true professional disc jockey puts into your event will be worth every penny.

Rob Alberti is owner of http://www.afterhoursdj.net in New England and a member of http://www.thedjnetwork.com and contributing writer for http://www.weddingdetails.net

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Selecting Wedding Colors for Good Luck

As soon as a bride announces that she’s engaged, friends ask, “What are your colors?” While many women choose colors based on nostalgia or what will look good on their bridesmaids, color choice really should be taken more seriously.

When a bride plans her wedding, she pays close attention to the meaning of each detail… except color. And since everyone has such strong reactions to color, doesn’t it make sense to choose colors that are harmonious and beneficial for the couple so that their special day will be a happy one?

Colors shouldn’t be a clash of elements
When it comes to selecting colors for a wedding, it is important to consider the colors that are being paired. Many times, colors are chosen that are opposing according to feng shui. For instance, blue and yellow are often combined. This is a class between earth and water elements. Pairing opposing colors creates opposition from the start.

Harmonizing colors makes a wedding go smoothly
Think about pairing colors based on their harmony together. A good example of this is the bride a groom. Interestingly, the most harmonious and beneficial pairing of wedding colors comes from the tai chi symbol of yin and yang.

That color pairing is the colors of black and white. Black is yin (female) and white is yang (male). This is why, when a man wears a black tux, his male energy is harmonized with the female color, and when the bride wears white, her female energy is balanced with male energy.

Feng shui is often referred to as a technique for creating harmony. Harmony - in feng shui - means that colors, elements, shapes, and numbers are all supportive and beneficial for one another. It’s often used in homes and offices, but the technique can also be used for weddings.

Pick colors with auspicious meanings and that promote happiness
When it comes to matrimonial happiness, the bride and groom might want to take a cue from the Chinese. To the Chinese, red and gold together create success and harmony. These two colors together are especially auspicious for making families get along well, too. And keeping relations friendly is very something important when two families come together, often for the first time.

Weddings are happy occasions, but they can often (unfortunately) be punctuated by heightened emotions, ill feelings, and sometimes, anger. Diffuse the situation (especially if you know there are some ill feelings in the family) by creating a color palette that is harmonious and will draw positive attention toward the happy couple — rather than amplify any negative feelings. Better still, select color choices that will benefit the bride and groom and put them on the road to marital happiness.

WEDDING COLOR CHOICES CAN CREATE GOOD OR BAD LUCK

Color combinations that create BAD LUCK:

* Greens and metallic colors (white, silver, gray, gold)

* Red and blue

* Black and red

* Green and yellow

* Yellow and blue

* Red and metallic colors. Metallic colors such as white, silver, gray, or gold metals are especially unfortunate when they’re paired with red.

Color combinations that create GOOD LUCK:

* A yang color (i.e. red) with its yin version (i.e. pink) are always good,

safe choices. Others include: dark blue/light blue, purple/lavender,
dark green/light green.

* Red and green (great for Christmas weddings)

* Yellow (ochre) and red (The perfect feng shui pairing for harmony)

* Metallic colors (white, silver, gray, gold) with yellow

* Greens and blues are perfect together (prosperity, growth, good health)

* Blues with metal colors (white, silver, gray, gold) are well-suited for each other.

What do certain color combinations mean?

Reds and gold (ochre)/yellow/beige: Harmony and prosperity, good luck and happiness
Black and white: male and female, harmony
Green and purples (can be lavenders or light purple): Growth, longevity and wealth
Metal colors: Creativity/children
Yellow and white: Heaven and earth
Green and blue: Growth and wealth
Red and green: Happy luck and success
Black and green: Wealth, growth and longevity

Especially auspicious color combinations:

* gold & purple (great wealth),

* silver & purple (great wealth),

* green & purple (great abundance),

* purple & white, (harmony of yin and yang)

* purple & black (career and financial success)

The Extreme Makeover Wedding
The television show Extreme Makeover had guests who got married at the end of the show. The couple chose red and gold as their wedding colors. They were most noticeable on the wedding cake, which unfortunately, is not in any of the photos. The wedding part, however, wore gold dresses and the flowers were beautiful red roses. For a look at the combination, click here.

Kathryn Weber is the publisher of the Red Lotus Letter feng shui e-zine and is dedicated to helping her readers develop successful, prosperous, and supportive environments with feng shui. To subscribe, logon to www.redlotusletter.com and receive this special report Fr*ee “16 Feng Shui Secrets for Greater Prosperity.”

kweber@redlotusconsulting.com

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